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November 01 Unnecessary I was told that, to some extent, the evolution of human society is driven by libido. That sounds great. I am not saying how outstanding or unique I am, but I really coundn't find such link, on myself. Surely I have yet to make more efforts as to appear to be more enthusiastic on the improvement of my social condition, while still I am not certain on the momentums on such improvement, especially when being told it should be connected with desire for women. Frankly speaking, I still take this as the biggest possible mistake I ever made, in terms of the possibility of endangering the stability of family value I have being trying to maintain all along. There are also struggles and hesitations before the final decision, which is based on the consideration of 3 NOs (No self-motivation, no rejection, no resposibilities). I almost believed that I was capable of classifying myself as those motivated by hunger for multiple sex relationship. It looks so real and natural and for a while I thought I became normal. Then it turned out to be what it was before. Again I feel exhausted, tired and uninterested. I cannot reveal anyhing new even I have been trying to make all these different with other experiences. After once or twice feeling impulse of sexually aroused, I found that these feeling quickly dissolved into inabilities of sensing new stimulations. Then? Never ask. I don't know. Waiting for someone with more sustaining attaction to come? Perhaps. |
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